~ When God gives you something special but we live in a mean world~

Almost 8 years ago to this day we found out we where going to be first time parents to a precious baby girl!!! We where so excited and started prepare ourselves physically and mentally for the reality of becoming parents!!! We read every book out there and we just knew that we where ready for the unknown!!! As the day in November approached and we got to the hospital with her name picked out and so many expectations of wandering what this sweet baby would look like... Would she have my  blue eyes or her dads brown eyes!!! Would she be light or dark complected?? Oh the excitement that comes with waiting for your sweet baby to get here!!! As I delivered this beautiful baby girl we soon realized that one ear was bent together in a shape of a little taco and we looked at the doctor and asked if this was temporary due to how she was pressed down on my cervix and when he examined her he smiled and said nope that's hereditary and you can always fix it down the road... I chuckle at the thought of discussing plastic surgery only minutes after giving birth!! Like seriously God had given us the most precious gift and with this special ear  that only she, as we know of, had in this generation!!! But for some reason at that moment I started to feel myself becoming self conscience of  her ear and would try to hid them with big bows and hats.... I feel awe full looking back how vain I was with this perfectly beautiful baby that did in fact get my husbands beautiful brown eyes and she did in fact have more of an olive complexion and was perfect in every way but for some reason the negative comments that some people had the nerve to say stuck out far more the sweet compliments.....  I remember one in particular we where walking out of a store in the mall and a man looks down in to the stroller and bluntly asks "what's wrong with her ear?" I was livid!!! I also remember the many times we would venture out with a close friend who had a little girl only a few months before mine and they would ohhh and awww and compliment her sweet baby and for some reason glance at my sweet beautiful Ariel and not say anything.
Fast forward to a few years later and we enrolled her in dance and by this time her personality had formed into a spunky, confident sweet little girl and we where excited about this chapter in our life as I had always dreamed of being a dance mom!! As I signed her up I was reading the rules about hair being pulled away from the face I went and asked if they could make and exception for Ariel seeing that I didn't want kids to make fun her and she bluntly stated " Are you worried about her or yourself ?" Ouch!!! I so needed to hear that!! I myself was struggling with pulling her hair back!! I feel so terrible and vain for even openly sharing this on here!! She also stated that Her personality would outshine her ears which was one of the greatest words of advice I had heard up to that point!!! I think I myself was still struggling with a lot personal confidence issues from growing up and had not yet accepted myself as Christ saw me and in turn I was carrying this burden of a little girl who had no idea that her ears where any different then any of the other kids on that dance floor!! From that moment on I vowed to love her ears that God had specially designed for her!!!!!
Right before kindergarten we discussed seeing about pinning her ears back since she would be starting school and I just didn't want her to get teased and even though we had fallen in love with her ears. I still had the desire at least to get familiar with the procedure and realizing how simple and fast it was I started making  phone calls and they kept saying "wait till she asks for it." So we decided to wait... though we had several mean kids on the playground it was a great lesson to teach her that we don't live in such a nice world and encouraged her to start praying for the little kindergarten bullies.
This last year is when the dreaded name calling started. We knew it was coming but I wasn't quite ready for it yet seeing she is only in 2nd grade!!! She came home and went straight to my full length mirror and pulled back her hair and asked to compare my ears and as she stared at herself my heart sunk!!  I realized she now noticed that her ears where different then other kids ears... " She took a deep breathe and asked " Do I have elephant ears?" "Of course not!!" I replied!!! "This girl in school said my ears looked like elephant ears," she replied. Her ears aren't even big!!!! I was fuming but tried to keep my calm because I knew this day was coming and I told her about God giving her these special ears and how he made everyone special and she just nodded and went off the play.  Ok so that was easy I thought.. no big deal she didn't seem to be to fazed though all my feelings of when she was little came rushing back!!! The next day she came home and again looked in the mirror and asked " Do I have big ears!!" " Of course not," I replied and they are not. They are actually a perfect size!!! I again reassured her that there would always be mean people in this world trying to find our weak spots and point them out!! I was actually preaching to myself as well!!!
She stopped wanting her hair pulled back and started to wear more beanies and I saw her confidence take a nose dive and I kept praying and thinking... would now be the time to consider getting her ears pinned back and sure enough not long after I found a video on fb of a little boy who had gone through it and as we showed her. Her faced lit up and she was determined to get the procedure done!!! I really struggled with what people would think and would this make Ariel think we could just fix any of her problems with a snap of a finger... Also we really instill that beauty is what is on the inside and not outside and this totally contradicts it!!!   However the more we prayed and asked others for advice we started to feel a sense of peace about doing the procedure and the more I saw Ariel linger at the mirror trying to fidget with her hair so her ears wouldn't stick out I knew we had to do something soon!!! So instead of booking a fun vacation for spring break we found an amazing place that put us at total peace and made us excited for her surgery!! Of course I was nervous and I started to freak out that this little girl with the most amazing unique little ears would change over a course of a few hours!!!! I was also a bit worried about what people would think but then God assured me they hadn't walked in our shoes and they didn't realize what we had dealt with and wasn't this similar to a child getting braces?? Seriously though, God gave them crooked teeth shouldn't they live with it?? I know this is a silly analogy but I just want was best for my sweet Ariel and we will continue to teach her that beauty is on the inside and the main reason I want to write this is for her to one day look at this and realize the truth of why we went ahead and to never forget the special ears God gave her if only we didn't have to live in a world that tells us exactly what beautiful is!!! This morning as she got to do her own hair for the first time after wearing bandages and she came proudly walking into my closet to show me the side swept pony tail I couldn't help but feel such a sense of Joy that our sweet little  girl had regained that confidence she had lost!!!
As I was sitting on our back porch last night and I watched Ariel and her friend perform a dance and a song they had written about God I could not help but feel a sense a pride knowing that God had blessed me with such a sweet little girl that no matter what lies ahead he always wants what's best for us and though we have many struggles ahead, as any girl does, but as long as we teach our daughters to see themselves as God sees us and surround them with prayer I know we will be ok!!!

Comments

  1. This made me cry as I too struggled with my appearance when as a little 2nd grade girl I should've been thinking about simpler things! I was very lean and actually quite self conscious about my large ears sticking out from my narrow face. Even to this day I get asked if I'm anorexic but alas I have no eating disorder stories to fuel people's gossip tank lol!! My heart is so happy to hear of the values you instill in your girls!!!! I just know from experience that your words are making all the difference in the world and that she will grow up to be a confident woman thanks to you! Thanks to the people I did have in my life growing up, always telling me of my beauty and value, I now only laugh when someone comments that I'm "too skinny" and feel grateful that I am blessed to be on a "see food eat food" diet haha! I believe you only wanted to protect your baby girl and I think everything you did was done in love❤️ I'm so glad you shared your heart, thank you for being real. I know someone somewhere will read this and God will speak to their heart through your obedience:) Love you! -Susie

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  2. Love your post! I completely understand, as a mother you want your children to fit in and not be bullied, it breaks a mother's heart to see her child struggle. I would have done the same thing. God bless your family!!

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  3. This made me cry as I too struggled with my appearance when as a little 2nd grade girl I should've been thinking about simpler things! I was very lean and actually quite self conscious about my large ears sticking out from my narrow face. Even to this day I get asked if I'm anorexic but alas I have no eating disorder stories to fuel people's gossip tank lol!! My heart is so happy to hear of the values you instill in your girls!!!! I just know from experience that your words are making all the difference in the world and that she will grow up to be a confident woman thanks to you! Thanks to the people I did have in my life growing up, always telling me of my beauty and value, I now only laugh when someone comments that I'm "too skinny" and feel grateful that I am blessed to be on a "see food eat food" diet haha! I believe you only wanted to protect your baby girl and I think everything you did was done in love❤️ I'm so glad you shared your heart, thank you for being real. I know someone somewhere will read this and God will speak to their heart through your obedience:) Love you! -Susie

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